Incomprehensibly Understandable
by mjuzz
Summary: This is an original short story by me, of course. Well, I'm all new to this so I really don't know how to categorize this. Well, anyway, to those who would bother to read this, please suggest on how to sort this.Thank you!Please.Please.Please Review!:


**_Incomprehensibly Understandable_**

I glanced at the grandiose of the sea. I had a lot of time to spend to myself but all that time spent would not be enough to drive away the demons that still troubled my heart. I tried to erase the memories that shook my being. I never thought I'd live again when my only love cast me off. My fragile heart shattered into a million pieces. I longed for peace of mind but it would not reach me. I feel so far away. I was in a daze as I strolled alone when I suddenly tripped over something really indifferent in that beach. I stumbled, actually tripped, upon a note, a paper, a message in a bottle. I thought, 'pathetic, as if the person will even receive this'. But actually, I thought it was nice, honestly speaking. So, in curiosity, I picked up the bottle, carefully took out the paper and threw the seaweed-covered bottle aside. I started to open the letter, nothing was written on it. I looked at the paper carefully but…nothing. Nothing was written on it. I threw it away. I continued my solace and walked away from the odd piece of parchment. I came to the same shore the next day. I don't really know why but I just thought that maybe I should explore the place more since there really was nothing else to do. Weird as it was, I stumbled upon the paper again but this time it was wet and actually had writing on it. It was like magic. This was what was written on the note:

_I'm not in love with you anymore but why don't I forget you? Or maybe I still do love you? I hate lying but why do I even consider yours. Won't you just tell me you'll stay even though you won't really be here? Do I sound that desperate? I can spend the day thinking about you and be happy and hurt all at the same time. So why don't you just lie to me because I know I'll be alright. I don't really mind if you tear me apart. I don't care if you lie to me. One thing you should know, you'll never know the cause of my pain for I won't tell you that you will always be the cure for all these wounds. I want you to realize that. I know you can't read my mind but this is easier for both of us. I don't want you to be the cause of my pain for I was the one who caused it myself. You're my own personal heroine. Addictive. Unavoidable. It's as if I was never me without you. I was happier with the past when our world still intersected unlike now, parallel and impossibly worlds apart. I forgot reality in your eyes. All there is now is virtual reality like a game simulation. I can't look at you directly as if I would fall apart if you looked at me. You're going far away from me but please, before you go, give me back my reality. Erase yourself from my memory but please don't forget that someone has been always there but you were just too naive to notice. You are not unnecessary. Remember, you have been important to me. You are not ugly. Remember you were once the most beautiful person in my eyes. You are not useless. For then you were my source of happiness and strength. You were my explanation for this fictional infatuation I was in. Though you might be all these, you were my merciless murderer who sucked away all of my oxygen leaving me with a cold pale shell for a soul. You are not the smartest person alive. Remember, you failed to notice, I was here all along. You kept seeking for someone else but I was finding you in the far ends of the world. Tell me when you're boarding you're flight because I want you to take my memory of you and I also want to wish you luck on your quest for memories of your own love. You're my greatest and worst memory. Songs remind me of you so much. They weren't written for you neither were they about you but you give them their purpose. Without you, their lyrics wouldn't really mean anything to me. They would just be mere arrangements of words that wouldn't really mean anything other than what they mean in the dictionary. Why was it always about you? Maybe it's just me who thinks it is. But what if I said, this was for you? Or if I said, it wasn't? What would you say? Would you be happy about it? Or just plain doubtful about everything? Will you run far from me? Will it be the key for you to stay? What if I am a liar? What if I'm not? I'm naive in the same you are. I'm not really sure if you really know or this means something else to you. I don't know if I would be glad if you knew how I really feel about you but please if you know, tell me. I don't want to be the last to know. Don't use my feelings against me. I had gone through a lot already. Don't smash them furthermore. There might not be anything left anymore once you know you felt it too. I'm not sure if I'll be here forever. I am human. I get tired too. I may be here for a long time but not forever because once I see the one who will love me like I had loved you, I'd let go of you. It hurts too much to wait for someone who won't even come. But even if I'm gone, you will always be the first I loved and the first person who emptied my soul. Those times I said you were weak, stupid or whatever I called you. I was lying. I know you were not. Those times I insulted you at your worst. I was sorry and until now I still am. I loved you despite of being the worst. I don't need a reason to do that because it just is. If I had the chance to change something of the past, it would be meeting you for the very first time because the first time I saw you, I knew there was some poison in your bloodstream that would eventually kill me. And apparently, I was right. Right now, you're killing me. I just want to forget that I thought this heart was meant for you and your heart was for someone else's. I want to be unfeeling. Well, I 'm starting to be because the pain doesn't matter anymore like it has been there before. You're a disease that forever clings to my soul that would strangle and choke me. Sometimes, I just wish one of us didn't exist. I would be cruel to say I pick you but I would rather choose to be the one non-existent. I want you to enjoy life even though a lot of times it's so wrong and unfair. I don't want to love you but I don't know how to start over. I guess I'm really just not over you. Pathetic, right? Don't love me when I'm gone. It'd be much worse. The present is more important than the future. Let's live today. I'd love you today. Don't push me away. I'll hate you tomorrow. Then stab me in the heart and kill me but it's no use killing me, I'm already dead. Let me die in your arms for my last stroke of happiness. What was happiness? Was it you? You're lucky someone loves you this much. I want to forget you so badly. Get out of my head. You're such a parasite. You're taking up so much space in my mind. I hate you. I despise you. I'll kill you. I love you. I adore you. You killed me. Reject me now to stop this ignorance. It hurts more to get no answer. Talk to me. Answer me. I know you don't love me. Spare me. You the personal demon I was told by the prophecy. Why do you have to be here now? My heart is too young, too weak. But you never considered it at all. That's so insensitive of you. I'm so tired of existing. I don't want to even utter that I exist because of you. I was meant to live but not for you. But why do I seem to be living for you? One word can't describe what I'm feeling right now. Neither will a thousand because words don't really matter. I don't need to tell you anything. Why should I? Just leave the door to your heart open and let me in if you'd let it. Or if you won't, be kind and show me the way out. I don't know where to go from here. I'm...lost. Find me, if you please. Don't hate me for loving you. Ignoring me is enough torture. Banishing me would be much worse. I can't seem to finish this blurting. I can't say everything in a piece of paper. Neither can I nor will ever say it all to you. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU. Believe me Anna .Goodbye…I know I'll get to see you someday when we meet again._

**I finished reading the letter and rolled it up. It reminded me of my love so much. I kept it in my pocket until I got back from the hotel where I was staying. When I got back, I opened it again and pondered about it. I got out of the terrace where I could see a view of the shore where I had just been strolling. I imagined the person who wrote it and what he was thinking before throwing that bottle out in the sea. I also wondered how writing appeared on that paper. Magic ink? Weird. Odd. Different. Romantic. I never knew who wrote the letter but I kept it for a long time even though it wasn't for me. I will never know from whom it was or who Anna was, the person the message was addressed to. I never did go back to that shore again but all I know that out there is a person who loved Anna so much. Maybe that's just how life is. It's doesn't always go the way you want it to be. I never really knew anything about love. I'm stupid, naive and I regret all the mistakes I've done in my life. I loved but the person I loved never loved me back. Now, I want to find Anna and tell her someone loved her so much. But I know I can't find her right now and it's too late already. Telling her has lost its essence but maybe not totally. Maybe I can still make her realize. The only problem is I don't really know where she is. I can't even find one who knows her anymore. I gave up eventually. But I never forgot the letter.**

**I am Anna. I was Anna.**


End file.
